Month: February 2016

Learning about finances with Ahi

Lokelani Ahyo

So, I received an email that Ahi was not doing well in Spanish and that his attitude is an “I don’t care” and “I don’t want to” attitude.  Then I got frustrated about his spending his DQ money but still asking me for money throughout the week.

It was then that I realized that I have not taught him about his money.  Heck, I am terrible about my money.  Jason and I have talked about what the kids should do with their money but we have never sat down and SHOWN them, like with a computer and writing it out so they can see the visual.  I decided to do this with Keahi.

You know…as a parent we are to teach our kids things but we are blind if we do not realize that our kids teach u things to.  And I am not talking about unconditional love…blah, blah, blah.  Keone brought me back to the Catholic church and retaught me about my faith.  And now it is time for Keahi to teach me some things.  He has taught me that it is a good thing to want to heal yourself and to seek the help to do so.  He has also taught me that it is time to take finances to a real level.

I have talked about Dave Ramsey and listened to his audio book The Total Money Makeover, but I have never committed to making it happen.

Some of the things that I learned from Dave Ramsey:

  • You have to have a safety net, this is step number one.  Create that net- For me, I should have a net of at least 1000.00.  Keahi needs to create that net in the amount that he sees fit.
  • You have to be willing to work extra for the period of time that it will take you to do so.  And that time can be spent doing odd jobs (I want to waitress or bartend- fast money, fun, and short hours. But Jason would rather I spend the hours doing side jobs as a nurse).
  • The Side jobs are to help you pay off your debt and save for the fun things that you want or need.
  • You HAVE to budget, and you have to put into the budget the things that you HAVE to pay for first, then WANT to pay for.
    • The first things that I HAVE to pay for include mortgage, insurance, cell bill, student loans, the minimum on the credit cards that I have, Keahi’s lunches, kai’s lunches, Keahi’s YC bill, food for the family, and gas for transportation.
    • I forgot: medication, Keone’s rent, any healthcare needs of the kids (Dr, teeth, eyes).  These are HAVE to.
    • The WANTS include going out with the girls to brewers, going to the movies, eating out, and my 5-hour energy drinks.
    • SAVING for includes a weekend cruise and my dream trip to Italy.

When I showed the basics to Keahi I showed him how much he makes and we looked at what he has been spending and how much moe I am giving after he spends all of his money.

The first thing we noted was that his is getting paid less because he has less hours.  He tried blaming it on them hiring someone else.  In actuality he was giving away all of his shifts or if he had a 4H meeting he would give away his whole shift instead of finding someone to cover an hour or two.  The consequences are that they found someone who is more willing to work.  I told him this would happen.

We reviewed how much his paycheck was and how much he spent: clothes, blue fin, fast food or subway, circle K, air soft gun (he has bought two), back pack (which I agree was a good investment), and gas. I gave him additional money for food, gas, goat food (which he is supposed to be paying for), and his driver’s class (that was his birthday present).

The next thing is that I told him I will give him 20 dollars a week for his school lunches.  He has been good about ordering the school lunches for the week and this is the best use of the money but if he doesn’t he will have to spread the 20 to cover his lunches at school.  I also told him that I will give him 20 every two weeks to cover gas for the errands that I ask him to do such a picking up his brother, etc.  Any other travel with the car he has to pay for.  I pay for the car registration, the insurance, the insurance for him to drive, the tire rotations, the oils changes.  He needs to keep the car clean and to pay for his own gas.  Therefore he needs to budget for it.

He also needs to put money aside for savings.  Before we were telling him how much to put aside.  I decided that this is wrong, he needs to determine what he may want to save for, and put aside accordingly.  I also explained that he has to put money aside for giving.  This can mean giving at church, or giving to a homeless person, or however he sees fit but he needs to do that also.

He seemed pretty upset when he realized how quickly money goes when you put aside for the things that you have to pay for and you are not looking at the full two week period until the next paycheck.

The encounter that he and I had was full on yelling, wearing and anger.  I saw a spark in his eye that he was understanding the bigger picture when I SHOWED him the numbers and the breakdown.

I know he is upset.  I get very upset when discussions center around money too.  I thanked him for showing me the error in my own ways and I wanted to commit to bettering my financial future too.  He stormed to his room.  I am not sure where this will go.  I will let Troy know where things stand with Keahi so that they can work on tools.  He is a better person overall since he has tarted medication and been in therapy.  I know many of his actions are teenage based and I want to parent during those times, during the  rage and therapy needed times I want to inform his therapist so he can help in ways that I cannot.

 

Jason is having surgery

Lokelani Ahyo

It is finally time to have surgery.  Jason hurt his knee while doing some IT work at the beginning of the new year.  He tried physical therapy and it didn’t work.  Actually, that is not completely true.  It made his knee stronger but it did not help with the patellar tendonitis.  So surgery it is.

We arrived ad YRMC outpatient surgery this morning.  I have been nervous all week. He finally showed signs of being very nervous this morning.  HE tried joking while we sat in the car that we didn’t need to be in a rush and that he wasn’t going to go in.  I could see the fear in his eyes and practically hear his heartrate increase.

The fortunate thing is that Dr. Khona was the anesthesiologist and he seemed to understand his fear.  He explained that he will give him a sedative in his IV before putting him under general anesthesia.  Jason’s eyes got big.  He didn’t give his nervousness away to anyone but me.  I let Dr. Khona and his nurse Jocelyn know about his fear and that this is his first surgery.

It all went well.  Jason came to very easily and we had him in the car in about 30 minutes.   We headed to starbucks to get him some food and a coffee.  We settled him in the couch recliner in the living room.  He was able to move and did well the whole day.  we kept him medicated on percocet every 6 hours and ibuprofen in between.

Amy and Sara came and brought us DQ and baby Kaia slept on Uncle Jason’s chest.

It was a good day.

Girl time is important

Lokelani Ahyo

Growing up I always had a few friends that were important to me.  I was never really part of the IN crowd although everyone knew who I was.  This has followed me  into adulthood.  I have a few friends that I consider to be my best friends.  They are the ones who we do not have to see each other, or even talk to each other for long periods of time but we will be able to pick up right where we left off.  Peggy, Leslie, Djai, Kayla (Bug), Stephanie, Wendy, Jamie.  It is wonderful having these women in my life.

I read something one time about nurturing your female friendships.  I always thought that I got along better with males but I came to realize that this isn’t the case, I am just not close to many women.  The ones that I am truly close to are so special in my life.  I do not need a large group of women to maintain my identity but those few special ones keep me grounded in an acceptance and love for each other.  These women are a blessing beyond words.

I also want to mention that this does not include the bond that I have with my FRamily.  Those women…Pua, Jackie, Soo, Sara, Amy, my mom (Cathy), and Buna are on a completely different level and they make my heart happy as my Ohana.

I can’t express my love for all of the special people who have touched my life in any way.  They have shaped my life into who I am and I feel blessed to have them come into my life.

Last one for the night

Lokelani Ahyo

I got up this morning and did the PIYO Define: Lower Body. That was a good choice.  I have seen the video multiple times but I picked up on something new today.  Chalene mentions how it is good to use that video to realign yourself, to concentrate on your form.  I used the positions to stretch and move my body.  It was really, really good.

And then…I ate so many flippen carbs today!  I HAVE to do better tomorrow.  I also need to spend this weekend food prepping for the long haul!  Maybe we can go buy the freezer this weekend.

Tomorrow PIYO Define Upper Body, maybe I will add the lower body too.  we’ll see

Aloha…Loke

Missing my sister

Lokelani Ahyo

It is so weird how we got to a place that I would miss her so much.  I remember when we didn’t really get along.  I felt that she was judgmental and she didn’t approve of the choices I made in my life.  But all of that changed in many ways.

I remember when she cried and apologized for judging me and the way that I parent.  All I could do was tell her ‘I understood and that I loved her.  I knew that she couldn’t understand until she had her own children and faced some of the trials that I faced.

I remember holding hands over daddy with the feeling of death in his hospital room.  I remember crying together because each of us had things that we were jealous of one another for.

I also remember when she stuck by me through my divorce.  She knew long before I did that Eddie was not the right person for me.  She stood beside me, not beside him, but always beside me.

I also remember how we started to spend more time together and have deeper conversations about things like nursing, accepting each other for who we truly are (me being ridicuously forgiving, and her for having trouble forgiving), raising kids and the concerns that parents have, missing our daddy, worrying about mom, and all of the things that sisters talk about.  But we didn’t start talking about those things until we were much older.

Finally, I remember the bond that formed between her and my husband Jason.  It was that love, acceptance, and understanding of each other that helped me and her forge a very strong bond.  I am so thankful for that because my wonderful husband helped make the ties between me and my sister super strong.

I miss you Pu Doll.  I wish you lived closer.

Aloha… Loke

I’m tired

Lokelani Ahyo

Sometimes we carry the burdens of others on our shoulders.  At least I do.  I remember working in LDRP and having a discussion with Alicia about her life at the time.  I took the conversation and went home and intermittently thought about her.  It was later the next day when I saw her again that I told her that I had been worrying about her.  It was that interaction that helped me to realize that this is one of the gifts that God ha given me.  He ha given me the ability to be concerned about others.  Sometimes there is something that I can do about it.  Sometimes I can’t do anything about it.  But my ability lies in thinking about others, and in doing so I pray for them.  I pray for God to care for them, to guide them, to love them.  This is what I do.

On the down side it is emotionally taxing because as I think about others I stress and worry.

On the upside I am able to exude love, to share my heart with others.  And most importantly I am able to pray and use the gifts that God has given me.

Thank you Lord

Aloha….Loke

RAMA household happenings 2.17.16

Lokelani Ahyo

Keone’s MRI shows that he has some microfractures, contusions, inflammation, and microcysts around the original scaphoid fracture so we will see what they say at the Dr. office tomorrow.  I personally think he will not need surgery but he may need a cast for a couple more weeks to allow time for complete healing.

I have to have a thyroid ultrasound done tomorrow just to make sure that there are no abnormal nodules.  The last time I had a thyroid ultrasound was about 16 years ago.  Also…my thyroid labs are hopefully headed in the right direction.  They were really out of whack.  I was on Armour Thyroid for many many years at 180, so we switched me to 250 mcg of levothyroxine.  I have to lower to 200mcg now and we will see if it can bring my TSH up (it is still <0.2) but my free T4 is getting closer to normal.  Hopefully we are headed in the right direction.

Kaikai got his first two paychecks and we were able to open his first bank account with his own debit card.  He was very professional a we went through the process.  His first purchase was at circle K where he bought a fountain soda and two waters for his mom.  I have to say, I was impressed that he insisted on putting the larger check into savings and plans on the smaller one lasting about 3 months.  We will see how this goes.

Keahi wa started on meds for ADHD about 3 weeks ago and he is doing really well on them.  In addition to the meds and seeing a psychiatrist he is seeing a counselor also and is learning tool to help with anger, frustration, and concentration.  The thing that has most impressed me with him is that he is so willing to do what is needed to make himself better and to be happy.  It is great to know that he i willing to take advice to better himself.

Kalani is still in Colorado and seems to be doing well.  I miss him very much but I am so proud of how he is moving forward to being a responsible business owner. He is also a car owner now since we signed over the expedition to him!  You go for it son!

Austin is all engaged! and going into the Navy.  Damn, where did my little guy go???  So proud of you.

Aley took the leap and is trying out for softball at Kofa.  She will be playing on the freshman girls softball team.  I am so excited for softball.  I miss having baseball games to go to.  So this is going to be wonderful!

Kira is Kira.  She is our little on that we want to stay little!  I enjoy doing PIYO with her and am looking forward to having her around for the weekend so that she can keep me motivated and work out with me.

My love, Jason…Well he is having surgery on 2/25.  I am hoping that this helps to heal him.  His glucose levels have been all over the place and we need to get them under control.  He needs to get healed with the surgery so that he can get back to being active.  He also needs to eat a consistent diet of fruits, vegetables, and proteins.  The carbs simply have to go.

And we have an additional dog in the house.  Her name is Roxy and she is a shepherd/mutt mix.  Keahi’s friend could not keep her because her dad and step mom said no. We will see if we keep her.    She is sweet and mellow so far.

Night for now…

Aloha…Loke

Time to catch up/restart

Lokelani Ahyo

Hola everyone… (Keone)

Well it has been an entire week since I posted.  I have been busy as heck because I was working at the Yuma Jaycees 71st Annual Silver Spur Rodeo.  I was recruited by one of my best friends, Peggy.  he asked me to help run the VIP booth.  I had to make sure the place stayed filled with food and that the sponsors and contestants were well cared for.

There were a few things that I found this weekend.  It was a reminder how hard the Jaycees work at the events that they are involved in.  I was able to reconnect with some old friends.  And that I am so very thankful for Peggy’s friendship.  It can be days, months, years…it doesn’t matter because we will pick up right where we left off!  As we have always said, “It’ll do what it’ll do” or…”B to the fourth power (big boobs, big brains!).  I love you Peggy!

After that hard worked weekend I was dragging!  I mean really dragging.  I could barely function on Monday.  I decided to just sleep til the last minute and then get ready for work.  Today was better BUT I did not do good with PIYO.  So I decided that I had to take more than a week step back and go back to PIYO Define Lower Body.  The reason for this decision is because I need to get back to feeling better with my form and also to feel accomplished with completing a workout.  This is because it is a shorter one but it will make me feel accomplished and sometimes that is a very import aspect of continuing with a health plan.

So, tomorrow morning.  back to the beginning, PIYO Define: Lower Body

Night all…(Keone)

Aloha….Loke

Ash Wednesday

Lokelani Ahyo

So… for Ash Wednesday I did good at one thing… I didn’t eat meat.

I started out my day with PIYO; Define: Upper Body.  I found myself modifying it, not following Michelle, just modifying it to make it a little more challenging and to add more stretching.  It wan’t giving me what I wanted for my upper body.

Then came my eating… BAD!  yes, I was good about not eating meat but I was unable to fast for a meal like we are supposed to and I ate TWO ice cream sandwiches.  I also made grilled cheese sandwiches out of sourdough and two types of cheese.  So, I was up in carb heaven.  Bad Loke!

And…I have been bad about doing my mile walk for three days straight.

Alright…I am putting my shoes back on and I am going for my mile walk now.

Also…I have figured out what I am giving up for lent… ice cream.  I am also going to try very hard to stay away from bread, rice, and pasta.  Those are my downfalls.  The other things I need to stay away from are cookies and cakes.  I am not a big candy fan but I love chocolate.

Alright…I jut realized what I said above… I am going to do paleo for lent!  I am going to see how that plus my exercise program will benefit me.  Since I am going to cut out the carbs I might as well go paleo.  Can’t bullshit the bullshitter!  My body needs this, and my spirit needs this too.  I need to be healthy and I am going to enjoy my Catholicism at the same time.

Heading out to walk… chat with you soon.

Aloha…Loke