So, I received an email that Ahi was not doing well in Spanish and that his attitude is an “I don’t care” and “I don’t want to” attitude. Then I got frustrated about his spending his DQ money but still asking me for money throughout the week.
It was then that I realized that I have not taught him about his money. Heck, I am terrible about my money. Jason and I have talked about what the kids should do with their money but we have never sat down and SHOWN them, like with a computer and writing it out so they can see the visual. I decided to do this with Keahi.
You know…as a parent we are to teach our kids things but we are blind if we do not realize that our kids teach u things to. And I am not talking about unconditional love…blah, blah, blah. Keone brought me back to the Catholic church and retaught me about my faith. And now it is time for Keahi to teach me some things. He has taught me that it is a good thing to want to heal yourself and to seek the help to do so. He has also taught me that it is time to take finances to a real level.
I have talked about Dave Ramsey and listened to his audio book The Total Money Makeover, but I have never committed to making it happen.
Some of the things that I learned from Dave Ramsey:
- You have to have a safety net, this is step number one. Create that net- For me, I should have a net of at least 1000.00. Keahi needs to create that net in the amount that he sees fit.
- You have to be willing to work extra for the period of time that it will take you to do so. And that time can be spent doing odd jobs (I want to waitress or bartend- fast money, fun, and short hours. But Jason would rather I spend the hours doing side jobs as a nurse).
- The Side jobs are to help you pay off your debt and save for the fun things that you want or need.
- You HAVE to budget, and you have to put into the budget the things that you HAVE to pay for first, then WANT to pay for.
- The first things that I HAVE to pay for include mortgage, insurance, cell bill, student loans, the minimum on the credit cards that I have, Keahi’s lunches, kai’s lunches, Keahi’s YC bill, food for the family, and gas for transportation.
- I forgot: medication, Keone’s rent, any healthcare needs of the kids (Dr, teeth, eyes). These are HAVE to.
- The WANTS include going out with the girls to brewers, going to the movies, eating out, and my 5-hour energy drinks.
- SAVING for includes a weekend cruise and my dream trip to Italy.
When I showed the basics to Keahi I showed him how much he makes and we looked at what he has been spending and how much moe I am giving after he spends all of his money.
The first thing we noted was that his is getting paid less because he has less hours. He tried blaming it on them hiring someone else. In actuality he was giving away all of his shifts or if he had a 4H meeting he would give away his whole shift instead of finding someone to cover an hour or two. The consequences are that they found someone who is more willing to work. I told him this would happen.
We reviewed how much his paycheck was and how much he spent: clothes, blue fin, fast food or subway, circle K, air soft gun (he has bought two), back pack (which I agree was a good investment), and gas. I gave him additional money for food, gas, goat food (which he is supposed to be paying for), and his driver’s class (that was his birthday present).
The next thing is that I told him I will give him 20 dollars a week for his school lunches. He has been good about ordering the school lunches for the week and this is the best use of the money but if he doesn’t he will have to spread the 20 to cover his lunches at school. I also told him that I will give him 20 every two weeks to cover gas for the errands that I ask him to do such a picking up his brother, etc. Any other travel with the car he has to pay for. I pay for the car registration, the insurance, the insurance for him to drive, the tire rotations, the oils changes. He needs to keep the car clean and to pay for his own gas. Therefore he needs to budget for it.
He also needs to put money aside for savings. Before we were telling him how much to put aside. I decided that this is wrong, he needs to determine what he may want to save for, and put aside accordingly. I also explained that he has to put money aside for giving. This can mean giving at church, or giving to a homeless person, or however he sees fit but he needs to do that also.
He seemed pretty upset when he realized how quickly money goes when you put aside for the things that you have to pay for and you are not looking at the full two week period until the next paycheck.
The encounter that he and I had was full on yelling, wearing and anger. I saw a spark in his eye that he was understanding the bigger picture when I SHOWED him the numbers and the breakdown.
I know he is upset. I get very upset when discussions center around money too. I thanked him for showing me the error in my own ways and I wanted to commit to bettering my financial future too. He stormed to his room. I am not sure where this will go. I will let Troy know where things stand with Keahi so that they can work on tools. He is a better person overall since he has tarted medication and been in therapy. I know many of his actions are teenage based and I want to parent during those times, during the rage and therapy needed times I want to inform his therapist so he can help in ways that I cannot.