FRamily

Growing up I always had a few friends that were important to me.  I was never really part of the IN crowd although everyone knew who I was.  This has followed me  into adulthood.  I have a few friends that I consider to be my best friends.  They are the ones who we do not have to see each other, or even talk to each other for long periods of time but we will be able to pick up right where we left off.  Peggy, Leslie, Djai, Kayla (Bug), Stephanie, Wendy, Jamie.  It is wonderful having these women in my life.

I read something one time about nurturing your female friendships.  I always thought that I got along better with males but I came to realize that this isn’t the case, I am just not close to many women.  The ones that I am truly close to are so special in my life.  I do not need a large group of women to maintain my identity but those few special ones keep me grounded in an acceptance and love for each other.  These women are a blessing beyond words.

I also want to mention that this does not include the bond that I have with my FRamily.  Those women…Pua, Jackie, Soo, Sara, Amy, my mom (Cathy), and Buna are on a completely different level and they make my heart happy as my Ohana.

I can’t express my love for all of the special people who have touched my life in any way.  They have shaped my life into who I am and I feel blessed to have them come into my life.

My beautiful niece Kaia was born yesterday on 2/19/16.  She came into the world weighing 11.1 pounds!!!  She is almost double the size of her brother Noah when he was born.  I am completely in love with this beauty!

It is so weird how we got to a place that I would miss her so much.  I remember when we didn’t really get along.  I felt that she was judgmental and she didn’t approve of the choices I made in my life.  But all of that changed in many ways.

I remember when she cried and apologized for judging me and the way that I parent.  All I could do was tell her ‘I understood and that I loved her.  I knew that she couldn’t understand until she had her own children and faced some of the trials that I faced.

I remember holding hands over daddy with the feeling of death in his hospital room.  I remember crying together because each of us had things that we were jealous of one another for.

I also remember when she stuck by me through my divorce.  She knew long before I did that Eddie was not the right person for me.  She stood beside me, not beside him, but always beside me.

I also remember how we started to spend more time together and have deeper conversations about things like nursing, accepting each other for who we truly are (me being ridicuously forgiving, and her for having trouble forgiving), raising kids and the concerns that parents have, missing our daddy, worrying about mom, and all of the things that sisters talk about.  But we didn’t start talking about those things until we were much older.

Finally, I remember the bond that formed between her and my husband Jason.  It was that love, acceptance, and understanding of each other that helped me and her forge a very strong bond.  I am so thankful for that because my wonderful husband helped make the ties between me and my sister super strong.

I miss you Pu Doll.  I wish you lived closer.

Aloha… Loke